I'm fucked.
Fucked fucked.
My computer may be down for the count.
All files lost.
Including many many photos.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKKK

See there is my most recent relationship (as in just broke up with me a few days ago), Chelsea, who I dated for six moths. Broke up with three times and got back together with, and then a few days ago she decided that we weren't compatible, that she couldn't deal with me, that she wanted me on my medications, she thought I wasn't ready for a relationship, and she'd suddenly started to like her best friend, Gosha (who is a boy... to make things hurt worse) and had planned on dating him. The thing about this girl was she'd asked me to marry her at one point and I said that I would at some point but not till after high school and we couldn't even tell people we were engaged till after we'd been dating a year. I was utterly in love with her and she said she felt the same about me but apparently not. The thing that sucks is she wants to be friends with benefits, she still thinks I'm her baby, and still loves me...

My heart is totally shattered from that last one and I don't know how to cope. This all happened so abruptly. I still love her and I don't want to stop talking to her but at the same time just saying her name hurts... I don't know what to do. How do I mend a shattered heart. I've mended a broken one before but it didn't hurt this bad. What do I do? How do I cope? Should I still be friends with her?

BTW-- our lives are so intertwined. This is difficult.

New pictures. Check them out please!

Check out my new photos.

Should I keep with photography?